Matchmaker’s Secret: How Do We Match?
One of the questions that I’m always asked by people I meet when I reveal to them that I’m a matchmaker is, “How do you make a match?”
We even conducted a Lunch Actually Matchmaking Masterclass for our media friends in Singapore, Malaysia, Hong Kong and Indonesia last year because of this highly-requested question :)
Truth is, I can never be 100% sure that it will turn out to be a good match. There have been times that my team of dating consultants and I are so sure that it is a good match, and we even think that they will get married.
Then we will wait for the verdict.
The guy gave his feedback. “It was an absolutely fantastic date! She’s such a wonderful person. I would love to meet up with her again! Thank you so much!”
Wow…! In our heads, we were thinking, we will be getting a wedding invitation soon.
We called the lady, and she said… “He was ok. But not someone I would date. I don’t mind keeping in touch with him as a friend.”
There is no 100%. I always joke… If we could guarantee 100%, our membership fees and charges would be priced very differently. Apparently, the most expensive matchmaker (verified by the Guinness Book of Records) charges US$200,000. And yes, she guarantees marriage.
OK, jokes aside… How do we match?
There are many aspects that we look at.
First and foremost, we need to learn more about the preferences of our client. What are his/her profile, physical and personality preferences? When we say profile, we mean age, education level, religion, ethnicity, smoking and drinking habits. Physical = height and built. And personality would include characteristics such as introverted vs. extroverted, spontaneous vs. organized etc.
Next, we will find out more about our client through our face-to-face consultation with him/her. Even though we gather profile information via a questionnaire which our client fills in, often, how we perceive ourselves, and how others perceive us are different. Thus, the matchmaker’s assessment is very important when it comes to matching.
We also take time to find out about our client’s past relationships, passions, his/her values, and what is most important to him or her. E.g. For someone, religious faith is very important. Recently, I made a match between a lawyer and a teacher. Initially the teacher was slightly apprehensive about dating a lawyer. But both of them are staunch believers, and this common value binds them together, giving them a common ground. They are currently dating each other.
After each date, we will obtain feedback from our clients. The feedback is a two-pronged approach.
Firstly, it allows our clients to give us feedback on what they like or dislike about the match. This would help us refine the matching criteria for their subsequent matches. Secondly, it gives us an insight on how our client is as a date. Obviously when we meet our client at our office, how he/she behaves would be distinctly different from how he/she would behave on a date.
And there you have it… by using the plethora of information we have, we handpick each and every match for our client. And of course, a dash of intuition and experience comes in handy too. The longer someone does it, the better they are at it, because they are more familiar with the different types of singles.
For some clients, all it takes is one match. And they would have met their special someone. But for some clients, it might take more than 30 matches. Interestingly, we have had many successful couples when.. it was the guy’s 10++ date, and it was the lady’s first.:)
So, if you are single and dating… take each and every new date as an opportunity to meet a new friend. You’ll never know where each opportunity takes you!
Article By: Christina Thung – Lunch Actually